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All the ways I would wear Chanel’s sparkle boots if I wasn’t worried about spending over $1.50 on bananas

I’ve officially been “fashion blogging” for about a month, and in my time screenshotting pictures of clothes and calling it work I’ve learned there are a few rules that aspiring fashion bloggers should probably follow.  They include knowing how to use the lasso tool in Photoshop (LIFESAVER), having an active social media presence, understanding that a successful blog isn’t built in a day, and of course, following Leandra Medine Cohen on Instagram.  Luckily, I knew a lot of these “rules” coming in, and have been following Leandra on the gram for years, for obvious reasons. Leandra’s kind of the fashion blog world’s pinnacle of success, because she started her blog Man Repeller in college to build her resume and a little clout in the fashion world and ended up creating an empire and a loyal following of funky-clothed fashionistas (I hate myself for thinking that last part, let alone typing it).

Following Leandra has quite a few payoffs, she’s well-dressed and has a great self-deprecating sense of humor, for starts, but of a couple months ago (September 19, to be exact) a new upside to subscribing to her snaps arose, and thankfully has kind of stuck around.  She was gifted this marvelous pair of sparkly, cap-toed boots from Chanel, by Chanel, and they have officially fulfilled a need that I didn’t know that I had.

Photograph of Leandra Medine for Vogue Spain (Source: Instagram @LeandraMedine)
Source: Instagram @leandramcohen

I think they’ve actually made me a better person just knowing they exist; in true Grinch fashion, my heart has expanded after being exposed to them just once (the fact that it was two sizes too small came as no surprise to me).  The same must be true for Leandra, because she still hasn’t seemed to take them off, wearing them with every kooky thing in her wardrobe.

Photograph of Leandra Medine's outfit taken in a mirror (Source: Instagram @leandramcohen)
Source: Instagram @leandramcohen

The boots seem to have sparked a bit of a glittery revolution (much better than the alt-right one, if you ask me), and now we’re seeing these boot versions of disco balls on pretty much every celebrity and model we fantasize about becoming (ahem, Rihanna).  These rip-your-heart-out-and-boogie-on-it bunched-up boots from Saint Laurent are especially popular among supermodel types.  Apparently they even casually wear them courtside to cheer on their hot 6’10” NBA-playing boyfriends who happen to be named Blake Griffin.  That’s great for the self-esteem.

Photograph of Kendall Jenner wearing Saint Laurent boots and a white crop top on her 22nd birthday (Source: Instagram @KendallJenner)
Source: Instagram @KendallJenner

I’m pretty sure I like the Saint Laurent boots better, as they’re more supermodel and Studio 54-friendly.  However, since I’m pretty sure the Chanel boots came first (a sort of super-sexy chicken and egg situation), I will devote the following post to them out of respect for this fall’s Original Gangsta of overly-glam boots.

According to Chanel’s website, the boots (chicly called “High Boots“) are made of a glittered fabric and patent calfskin and have a two-inch heel.  They also cost $1,575.   Now, I like to think of myself as a young woman with refined tastes and high standards (in clothing and potential suitors; that’s why I’m single, I promise), and I really try to avoid subscribing to the “broke college kid” act because it’s whiny, self-deprecating, and just seems like an excuse to eat Easy Mac for every meal.  However, it is kind of true: I don’t think I’ve ever spent more than $9 on a bottle of alcohol and also choose to go to another grocery store if the bananas cost more than $1.50 a pound (I guess that four freelance projects a year don’t necessarily support the bougiest lifestyle).

However, between bites of Easy Mac, a girl can dream about $1,575 boots (or $10,000 in Saint Laurent’s case).  Here’s are a few ways I would wear them:

With…a cowhide skirt

This is absolutely the first thing that comes to mind when I think of pairing something with dreamily sparkly boots.  Have no fear, vegans– I’d be sure to find a faux one, or at least go vintage (yay, ethics!).  This look is pretty juvenile from the waist-down, so I’d probably pair it with a pale blue button-down and a chunky pearl necklace to dress it up a little and make it less appealing to Roy Moore (sorry, again).

With… an oversized t-shirt dress

I actually own this white t shirt dress from Zara (they don’t sell it anymore, sadly), and it is true perfection.  Why?  It’s literally just a very large, semi-sheer, fresh-out-of-your-grandfather’s-closet soft T-shirt.  It’s perfectly simple, a little Yeezy-y, and an amazing compliment to these boots in my daydreams.

With… a white turtleneck

I’m taking a page from Kendall Jenner’s courtside look here, because I don’t think there’s anything more luxe than a big, plush, white turtleneck.  This fuzzy one looks like a heavenly boucle cloud, and I think it could be paired with dark skinny jeans or even leggings for a ballerina-off-duty look.  Why I ever quit chose jazz classes over ballet is both a mystery and a tragedy to me.

With… a nautical pea coat

Leandra already kind of did this for her Vogue Spain shoot (see the first photo of the article), but she did it so well I would have to do it too!  An “ahoy, sailor!” style structured pea coat is always lovely (even better if you have a cheeky little captain’s hat), but I think that wearing it with sparkly boots, a peek of argyle knee-highs, and a tailored mini is a unexpected twist that steers the sartorial ship of mixing textures in a whole new direction. See what I did there?

Wear with… lingerie and a cowboy hat

Hear me out: the most girlish, whimsical lingerie set you can find (think Brittany Murphy in Uptown Girls for inspiration if that helps), a pale pink cowboy hat with a little tiara on it, and the boots.  Obviously this is not street wear.  I don’t even know if it’s sexy.  But it’s probably the most-fun thing I can think of and I really want to wear it making dinner listening to Steely Dan and maybe when I host a very silly party where everyone would understand my whims.

I could wear these boots a million more ways, but honestly, those are the only ones I have motivation to write about.  I will close with this, however: Leandra, if we ever become friends/coworkers(?), lock up these precious boots, because odds are, I’ll have already stolen them. 😉