Bonjour, 2018! It’s officially the beginning of the year, which means it’s “that time of year” again: for many of us to lay forth a host of ways in which we want to improve ourselves (not to say that we weren’t good enough before) in the new year. It’s commonly accepted that New Years Resolutions are hopeful and inspiring… I mean, who doesn’t want to think that they can end the year a better person than they were when they started it? However, it’s also commonly accepted that these “plans” and “goals” can also kind of be a crock, as most of us end up ditching them within the first few weeks (or, er, days) of January. The whole concept of “new year, new me” has largely been mocked on social media and in real life, because honestly, even if we do stick to drinking less or end up losing a few pounds, do we actually change?
Anyone who knows me personally or has read a sentence of my content can probably figure out that I’m pretty cynical about a lot of things. However, New Years Resolutions are one thing that I wholeheartedly believe in (or at least the idea of them). Why? Last year, after years of struggling with my body image and self-esteem, I made a very specific weight loss goal (that will remain unnamed), and I vowed that I would get there by just treating myself better and loving myself more. Being completely honest, I didn’t quite achieve it. However, keeping my goal in mind all year brought me closer to who I wanted to be than ever before, and made me significantly happier and more comfortable with who I am, both physically and mentally. In short, I might not have reached my goal of “self-improvement” but I greatly improved my self-confidence just by making it and keeping that goal in mind when I made day-to-day choices.
Now, this was a very specific New Years Resolution, and I think that black and white goals are very fine and good (in fact, I set another covert one this year in the same vein). However, they can put a lot of pressure on the people hoping to fulfill them, and when we don’t achieve them it can be easier to quit (“I’ll never be able to do this, so why bother?”)
Comme Une Soleil thinks that the best, most-empowering resolutions act as nonspecific stepping stones that work towards a larger goal: for example, to do/to be something more or less than you currently do/are, rather than justifying progress by numbers or repetitions. For example, if someone currently works out once a week, do you think that they are more likely to follow through with a goal like “I want to work out more than I am currently” or a more specific goal of “I want to work out five times a week, every week”? I would say the first goal certainly seems more attainable, and if it someday leads to the second goal, that’s perfect (and could easily happen).
Broader-reaching goals are amazing, because success is easier to gauge and failure is easier to accept and move forward from, rather than just giving up. There’s no better time to set attainable goals for yourself than the New Year, and the best goals to start with involve self care (it is the move for 2018, after all). Here are five goals that I will personally be taking on in 2018, that I think we all can and should do. Add them to your own list of resolutions for the new year or use this list as a jumping-off point for a happier, healthier you. Ready? Here is Comme Une Soleil’s official list of New Years Resolutions, or in the words of Queen Solange Knowles, an Ode to Self Care.
1. Overthink less
I’m putting this at the top because it’s definitely going to be the hardest for me, personally (in fact, I’m overthinking right now!). However, it’s super unhealthy, so I know it’s gotta stop. Overthinking can be fatal for your self esteem and mental state, causing us to think that anything short of perfection is inferior and that we are the root of all of our problems (which are often waves made up in our own heads due to our overthinking). In general, we tend to blame our own problems on situational factors, which although sometimes naive, is pretty healthy when it comes to our self-worth. But when we overthink, we start shifting blame onto ourselves, saying that everything bad in our lives is due to something that we did or who we are. I’m not saying make excuses for your bad behaviors. But next time you get a bad grade on a test or you get left on read or I don’t know, let a new years resolution slip (wink), don’t immediately blame it on yourself and stop overthinking. Which, ironically, leads me to our next goal for 2018…
2. Spend more time in your own head
Too often in life are we distracted, be it by our busy schedules, our technology, or even our own thoughts (cough, cough, overthinking). Our hectic lifestyles can make us forget about the most important thing that we have: ourselves. Last year I realized that I was saying “yes” to too many distractions and taking too little time for myself and my thoughts, so I started allotting time alone every night to just be present. I also started meditating a little, and hope to do that most days this year, because no lie, I’m happier, more at peace, less sore, AND my skin cleared up since starting. I’m obsessed with the app Headspace, which has a great free trial, a wonderful color/animation scheme, and a certainly-handsome Australian man talking you through your meditations. 10/10 would recommend.
3. Spend more time developing your interests
Last year, I took a professional Strengths Quest quiz for one of my jobs to, believe it or not, discover my personal strengths. My top strength was “Input” which means that I always am looking for new stimulation and to learn more/take more in, so this goal kind of comes second nature for me. However, I realize that some people don’t have it so easy diving into their passions, and some don’t even really have any real interests outside of themselves and their social circles at all. This is pretty depressing for me to hear, because my favorite part of my existence is discovering new topics/books/music/movies/people/ideas I care about and exploring them, and I think it’s immensely important for personal growth and developing a stronger self-concept. For this resolution, I suggest you read (I personally like getting started in books, but of course, the Internet is a great tool). For example, If you like Kim Kardashian, you probably know her “Break the Internet” cover for Paper Magazine, so look into the shoot’s photographer and you’ll discover that it was shot by Jean-Paul Goude, one of the greatest pop graphic designers and artists of the 20th century, and if you look at his other works you’ll figure out he was recreating one of his old images from the 1970s, then you can use that image as a jumping off point to discover more. Learning stuff like this is pretty neat, and the more you discover/the more holes you fall into, the more you’ll figure out about yourself and your interests. ULTIMATE self care, right there.
4. Be more proactive about your beauty regime
Just a couple of years ago, I was wearing tons of makeup and using heat on my hair everyday, with pretty uninspired results: broken hair, forty-five minutes wasted in front of the mirror every morning, and honestly, pretty low self-esteem because I was doing so much to alter my real appearance. Then, after reading a few articles on the simplicity of “French girl beauty” and falling prey to Glossier’s very effective natural beauty marketing campaign, I decided to change some things. I started prioritizing my skincare with oils, creams, and lotions (in the words of iconic beauty Iman, “the skin you take care of in your twenties is the skin you inherit in your sixties”), drinking more water, and incorporating coconut oil into my daily beauty regime (I comb it into my hair before I shower and put it on my eyelashes before bed, which has helped them grow and become stronger). Making little changes like this has not only helped nourish my outside, it’s also made me feel more comfortable in my own skin. In 2018 I hope to keep taking these steps towards highlighting my natural beauty by means of better caring for myself and remembering that I’m beautiful with or without makeup. You should too.
5. Take better care of your body
Recently there has been an amazing wave of body-positivity-gone-mainstream, with models like Winnie Harlow and Ashley Graham showcasing that bodies that stray from our societally-defined standard of beauty are just as incredible and gorgeous as the cookie-cutter norm. There is no one perfect body, but there are ways to ensure that we treat our bodies as well as we can. For one, drink more water, your body needs it to survive, and everything works/runs/looks/feels better when you’re well-hydrated. Also, I like to drink at least one glass of water a day with a couple teaspoons of apple cider vinegar mixed in: it kind of tastes like watered-down wine (meh), but helps boost metabolism, aids digestion, fights colds, and much, much more. The new year is also an opportunity to eat cleaner (for me this means a predominately vegetarian diet, but for big meat eaters, this could mean only eating meat from grass-fed farms, for example), cutting out more fast food and saturated fats, participating more in your favorite type of exercise, and focusing on your sleep regimen. If you nourish your body with your health and conscious in mind first, oftentimes your fitness and appearance goals follow soon after!
These five resolutions to do more/less are not only attainable, they are broad-enough that you can cater them to your own lifestyle and personal goals. Before you can be confident in the outside world, you must be comfortable within yourself, and taking basic steps to better your self care will help you get there. Good luck, and here’s to the new year!!!
Oh, and don’t forget to take off your makeup before bed. 😉