Before diving into this piece, I want to address the elephant in the room. Or, perhaps it’s more fitting to say the embarrassingly Juvederm-ed dictator in the room. After months of threats, Vladmir Putin has directed over 100,000 Russian soldiers to invade the Ukraine in an attempt to reabsorb the independent nation into a desperate, scary attempt at a second Soviet Union. As major cities are being overrun and destroyed and women and children are fleeing en masse, normal Ukrainian citizens are filling molotov cocktails and fighting to the death to defend their homeland.
Safe to say, it feels strange, if not wrong, to have any focus on fashion right now, and the industry couldn’t agree more. Fashion shows are planned months to years in advance, and as designers unveil their (frankly very impressive) Autumn/Winter 2022 collections, the community is stepping onto the runway and also up to the plate to address what’s occurring.
Georgian creative director Demna Gvasalia of Balenciaga dedicated his entire blizzard-shrouded show to Ukrainian plight and resilience. Supermodels Mica Garanaz and Bella and Gigi Hadid have vowed to donate all their show earnings to Ukrainian relief efforts, while using their platforms to bring awareness to wars and human rights atrocities in countries whose citizens look “less like us” (not white). Yes, that includes wars and human rights atrocities started and perpetuated by the United States. Besides the almond thing, Yolanda did a good job with those girls.
It’s a difficult, complicated time to speak out, especially in a situation as tenuous and heartbreaking as this. It’s hard to look at what’s going on in the Ukraine (as well as China, Palestine, Yemen, our own prisons, etc.) and be able to see joy or hope. However, perhaps only in contrast, we can look to the beautiful, wearable art created this season, often crafted by hands calloused by strife and adversity that, too, beat the odds. I am beyond lucky and privileged to be able to say this, but I truly believe there is always beauty and fun to be found and celebrated in life, even in times of immense darkness.
In this blog, I’m going to highlight recurring themes from my favorite Autumn/Winter collections, and the trends that will likely ensue. We might be on the brink of World War III (knock on any and all wood I can find), but at least we can be assured that everything will be alright in terms of our closets.
Dress-Code Breakers
The thing with classics is they never, ever go out of style. Maybe it’s the Gen-Z Gossip Girl resurgence or the ubiquitous desire to be a naughty little schoolgirl, but Prep is back in a BIG way. But here’s the thing… it has to be at least a little slutty. Like, if not enough to get sent home to get a new outfit, at least enough to raise an eyebrow or five from male teachers (blech).
Basically every collection I viewed this season featured at least one micro-mini/oversized blazer or trench combo, often paired with thigh high socks or girlish shoes. What’s great about what I’ll call “fantasy prep” is if you have ever had good style as an adult, you probably have at least a couple of these pieces. The key is a balance of big and small, masculine and feminine, conservatism and seduction. Think Serena Van Der Woodsen on a walk of shame or Finney from A Separate Peace falling off that tree branch into a twerk split,
Want to recreate this look? Invest in some ballerina flats or heeled Mary-Janes, a pinstripe or khaki micro mini, an oversized blazer, and an ab workout or self-love routine that will give you the confidence to bare lots of midriff. It’s doubtful most people will have the gumption to go for Coperni’s bat-ear designs, but you can distinguish your look from the rest with a Rowing Blazers cap or perhaps a hickey from a trust-fund baby.
Leather Daddies
It’s a well-known fact that Julia Fox was Josh Safdie’s muse when he made Uncut Gems (truthfully, I don’t think she said it weird). But, is it possible she’s the muse for the leather trend resurgence as well? Pre Kanye-split, Julia was making waves with her head-to-toe black leather ensembles, which peaked at her Lucien storeroom birthday party and hasn’t stopped since. Whether or not Ms. Fox is leading the nu-leather movement is undecided, but it’s clear to see that she is the moment (just look at her opening the LaQuan Smith show).
Leather has been squeaking its way into the fashion cycle for the past few years now, and this season’s fashion shows showed that it’s here to stay. Leather (generally vegan or pleather) is taking a big step out of the comfort zone of wide leg pants, shackets, and minis into the realm of pride parades, 80s rockstars, and sex dungeons (see Violet Chachki’s titillating appearance at Richard Quinn).
Yes, that means all leather, all the time. Head to toe, or as Tyra Banks would say, “H to T!!!”
To jump on this trend, I suggest having at least one pair of leather pants and heeled boots, multiple leather going out tops, and at least one leather jacket in your closet (from the looks of HoYeon Jung opening Louis Vuitton, oversized bombers might be the next move). Start practicing slicked hair looks and how to comfortably position your genitalia in the tightest, hottest pants possible. Don’t be afraid to channel your inner Pamela Anderson, Selina Kyle, or unnamed Gimp from Pulp Fiction. As a big black leather fan, I’m stoked about this trend, but this fashion month is telling me I need to step up my game even more. Oh, and that I need to invest in some Pat McGrath black eyeliner and LOTS of baby powder. Rock on.
Sneak-Attack Skin
Remember that iconic cerulean top scene from Devil Wears Prada? Instead of a bargain bin blue sweater, imagine a delicate gray nylon bodysuit hanging on the rack at Urban Outfitters in 2022, priced at 70-ish dollars and equipped with loops, cuts, and visible seams any person with an ounce of clumsiness would surely rip out in the dressing room. The employees must have sensed that in yours truly, because they wouldn’t let me try this blatant Nensi Dojaka knockoff on (LOL).
The trend isn’t exactly new. Since Dojaka snipped her way onto the scene with her first innovative Fashion East collection in 2020, it’s safe to say high fashion garments have started wearing less and going out more: featuring rips, tears, mesh paneling, and expertly-placed nip-skimming holes. This season, other designers are taking this challenge to a new level, making paper snowflakes out of pants, tights, LBDs, leather ensembles, and even, Le Smoking.
Showing unexpected skin is no task for the meek, physically active, or especially spastic (as chic as a Nensi-knockoff would be to wear to a rave, I don’t suggest it). However, it’s not an especially difficult one; technically, you can even DIY-it if you have a pair of pantyhose, scissors, and a little imagination. Want to recreate this trend without looking overtly cheap, or as my mom would say, “so contrived?” Less is more. Balance rips and tears up top with a more conservative, simple bottom and shoe, and vice versa. Stick to a simple color palette and wear minimal jewelry, even if your hole-y pieces are bulkier and less slutty. If you’re the rare unicorn bold enough to rock this style as a minidress, wear no accessories, keep makeup simple, and hair slicked back off your face.
Basically, if you’re looking more like a dumpster find on Law and Order SVU than a Jacquemus muse, you should probably go back to square one or put on some more clothes. Such as…
Mob Wife Coats
A few weeks ago, before the tragic invasion of the Ukraine, it would be very easy and I think, fairly noncontroversial, to say that Eastern Europe has been having a moment. Insta girls plump their pouts to obtain “Russian Lips”, Molchat Doma’s popularity skyrocketed (thanks, TikTok – genuinely), previously icky tinned fish and sardines are officially dubbed “hot girl food”, and Red Scare’s Dasha Nekrasova just won a SAG Award for her work on Succession. Not to mention HASBULLAH?!?!?! Be still my beating heart.
Perhaps it’s in reaction to the Post-Covid sweatpants era, but designers this season have gone LUXE, subbing parkas and anoraks of the past few seasons with furry, opulent, very Slavic coats. The bigger and richer looking, the better. If it doesn’t look like it belongs to a pimp, an heiress, or a glamorous elderly woman shuffling around Brighton Beach, we’re throwing it in the trash.
I’m a huge believer in big fur coats (faux or vintage, of course), because I love looking rich and love staying warm (holla at my anemic girls). Plus, they’re versatile! Fuzzy manteaus can really be paired with anything to achieve any look. For that “I’m Tony Soprano’s New Goomah” look, turn to Saint Laurent’s black fur with sheer tights. For that “I’m With the Band (and Maybe on the Street Corner)” aesthetic, look to Gucci’s animal print/micro mini/lingerie ensembles for inspiration. And if you want to look like a Zoolander extra or perhaps a Shag Rug? Look no further than Diesel’s extra big, extra monochrome fit. Perfect for getting the suds off your car before the wax cycle.
Oh, and you CAN’T forget the oversized, blacked out aviators. You might be wearing ten pounds of faux fur, but you can’t let them see you sweat.
*****
These articles generally take the span of a few days for me to write, and things certainly are not getting better in the Ukraine. If you have resources to spare, please consider donating to relief efforts. I personally supported Bethenny Frankel’s nonprofit BStrong, which has committed $15 million in aid to help women and children evacuate to safety, as well as providing for those who have bravely stayed behind.
For other donation options, check out this link. Count your blessings. Cherish your comfortable life and all you take for granted and pray for peace. <3